SUM it UP in 6 Words...

Oh Tara Parker Pope!  From the NY Times  Well Section...
Can you sum up a relationship in six words?
The readers of the Web site Smith Magazine are doing just that, offering six-word memoirs to describe both love and loss. Some examples:

Love hurts. Choose vodka or valium.
You lost me at hello “ma’am.”
Life’s like chocolates. Picked, processed, pooped.
Hearts clubbed by diamonds in spades.
Passion, fireworks, good loving. He’s gay.
But our domestic partnership was notarized….
Your new wife is too friendly.
There’s nothing sex can not fix.
Finally found love, at age 41.
Note to self: avoid head cases.
He wasn’t worth the panic attacks.
Chocolate is the coward’s bad apology.
Pet-sitting for ex-husband describes amicable divorce.
Loved her madly — then went mad.
Warning, love: I blog my breakups.

What do you think? Do you have six words to share about love, marriage and relationships? Please post your own six-word memoir below. And be sure to check out the Smith Magazine Web site for more six-word memoirs on happiness, teenagers, food and other topics.

PS  Dare me, and I'll 6-word sum it up...

My Pilot Got Canceled

It was an almost-blip-of-a-segment on CNBC, and Mass Comm. major that I was, to be on TV sounded like fun.

A couple years ago The Boston Globe did an article on how my then-house-mate and I, two divorced empty-nesters, collaborated financially. We had worked together, raised sons in the same town, and setting up a joint household was like Kate & Ally some twenty sit-com years later. CNBC came looking for a follow-up interview but learned I'd left the North Shore of Massachusetts for Sandgate, Vermont and (surprise!) a new relationship and business partnership.

The producers thought that was even better copy -- it certainly brought up a whole different set of financial protocols and improvisations. Good television? For the show, maybe; for an audience of baby boomers in a similar boat, perhaps, but for the "talent?" Maybe not so much. Who wants to talk about financial intimacy ever, but especially in the arena of over 50? Especially on nationally televised TV? My partner wanted to know what on earth was I thinking! I tried to explain, but it didn't come across as what men would define as "thinking."

It starts with my fascination with left field. When something comes from left field or seemingly out of nowhere, I interpret that as a surprise gift...an unscripted role to play. So I did a quick run-through of my knee-jerk objections:

1. I don't want to be on camera for all the obvious reasons (scared about how I'll look or sound and result in coming off as fake and foolish).
2. The context of the segment is financial planning, and I haven't. We're a business start-up in a lousy economy hampered by new no-lending laws and an unsaleable, unheatable home in a very, cold winter. The fact that we're happy and making it work is probably not the point they want to make. And not only that, but
3. My partner is a private, ain't nobody's business but my own kind of person who won't want to participate.

So, if this really was an opportunity knocking, what possible benefit could come of it? Was there any incentive to volunteer financial exposure and risk personal humiliation in a TV show I never even watch? The answer is an equivocal, counter-intuitive yes for three reasons:

1. I've been putting off making a straight-ahead accounting of my new life, love, and business because of course, it's a work in progress. I didn't issue a Christmas wrap-up letter this year, and many friends don't know I've been a Vermont resident the last 18 months. How cool would it be to make up for that with a link to me on TV?
2. It's not easy to articulate my vision for the future, but I've got one. It sounded a little fuzzy and idealistic at first, but as I've walked the walk, I should be able to talk it too. Bring on the questions, and my commitment will give rise to right words. And if that's not germane to the reporter's interview, at least I've updated the mission statement for myself.
3. Even the briefest of segments could be good P.R. for our business. They wanted to shoot some "B roll" of my environment which would include the insulation truck in the driveway and the logo we just had detailed. It's financially relevant, a green energy cure for heat loss and fuel bills, and such random exposure could lead to -- who knows -- new customers out of left field?

Well, it turns out the gift of this media experience wasn't a media experience at all. CNBC wanted to show a Sandgate couple navigating a new boomer frontier, and even without a speaking role, my partner made it clear he was not and would never be camera ready. And with that, the deal was off.

My former house-mate went ahead with her interview and said it was surprisingly empowering. She says she can only hope she'll feel the same when it airs. Me, I got number two of my benefit list just for a willingness to show-up. That's something, but it seems there should be more. I decided to let one medium can lead to this other -- off with TV and onto this blog!

El Exigente, My Valentine

Ahhh readers, that was not an idle question.  Speak to it, please.

My Valentine and I,
our lives are so inter-twined that my perspective is multi-directional.  Feelings run so deep and are so large as to be hard to see or voice.  Duh, I guess that's why they're called feelings...

To marry into El Exigente's lineage (circa 1215) is daunting.  It speaks to the creative abilities of the entire bloodline.  They paint, they write, they sculpt, they act.   They build and fix the mechanical.  They cook and bake; they landscape, till the soil and husband the earth...animal, vegetable and mineral.  That's how you know they love you.  But how do you love them?  Care and appreciation and a good sense of humor.  (Presents on Valentine's Day do not hurt)

Who is your Valentine?

Dear Hearts,
Here's a snipet taken verbatim from some internet site about the approaching day

February 14 is Valentines Day, the day on which we celebrate and explore love in all it's many ideals. How a day for lovers came to be celebrated during the middle of February is an interesting and ages old story.
The story of Valentines Day begins during the heyday of the Roman Empire, which held a festival every February. This Lupercian Festival was held in honor of the God of Fertility and during the festivities young men would get to choose their mate. At the time marriage was a common occurrence, but when Claudius became Emperor he changed all of that. Fearing that men would refuse their duty to fight because they would not want to leave their wives behind, he outlawed all marriages.
Young couples still fell in love though and still wished to marry and they took these desires to the Catholic Bishop Valentine who, understanding love, began to secretly marry couples. When Claudius found out, he had Valentine arrested and ordered put to death.
While waiting in jail, Valentine began exchanging letters with the jailer's daughter and soon had fallen in love with her. The day he was to be beheaded, he wrote her one last note and signed it: "˜From Your Valentine'.

Patient Input on Orphan Drugs - Video TED MED Jamie Heywood: The big idea my brother inspired

Murky Waters

for Dawn

Perhaps twenty five years ago, Dawn and I stood knee deep in the murky waters of a new pond. Childless at the time, we rabbited on in looping conversation as swimmers splashed before us, the chatter and laughter of a pot luck pick nick at our backs.
Though we could not see our feet, the almost cold water was so refreshing.
Children ran in and out, diving and shouting, a toddler followed the big kids in, just walking until he disappeared beneath the surface, and was gone. Dawn's hands lightninged into the water where nothing could be seen and came up with the boy, saved, and handed to his mother whos face registered the near loss.
The waters were murky, Dawn's sight was clear, her action immediate and true.

Leslie Fuller

Snow Cookies 2/2/11

When the woman sits in the afternoon
After the snow is shoveled
and the wood is in
Cookies fill the space
between the day
and dinner.

The tummy space
at the top of the pants
The Cookie Bank.

Leslie Fuller